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If I Were You (Inside Out #1) - Lisa Renee Jones

If I Were You (Inside Out Trilogy, #1) - Lisa Renee Jones

Sadly, this one is a DNF at 38% (Chapter 12)

I kept reading another chapter and another chapter hoping it will get better, hoping I'll get why there are so many raving reviews to this series. 

 

Maybe it's better, you know? If I'm only a drop in a sea then it just means I have a different taste, I rather be that than another crushing review over a not appreciated novel. I get that every writer does his or her best when releasing a novel, I also realize they put an enormous amount of time, sweat, tears and blood into their work and so I hate writing a bad review. 

 

I've read two novella by Lisa - "Unwrapping Holly" and "Play with Me" (Form the "Heating Up the Holidays" bundle) and I really liked both of them. In both novellas I enjoyed the writing and the characters so I don't know why I feel the way I do about this one. But it is what it is, right? 

 

Since I haven't finished the book I can't write about the plot itself I'll just write what's important to know who the characters are and then I'll explain what didn't work for me and why I stopped reading it...

 

Our main heroine is Sara. She starts working in a gallery where she meets two very interesting and different men - Chris (a painter) and Mark (the owner of the gallery).

 

Where I'm at she is both intrigued by the both of them but nothing happens with either one. I'm not sure if this book suppose to be a romance with one of them or the both of them or what exactly but I CAN tell you that where I'm at, there wasn't even a kiss between right about anyone in the book. It's labeled under erotica and it's suppose to be something like Fifty Shades of Grey (I haven't read and would never read..) so I guess I thought this one with be splashed with sex but it's actually VERY slow going. So slow I was just, well, bored. We get to listen to Sara's POV for the whole time and she is just a very mild and not interesting woman. I wrote in my status update that she has no back bone. I"m not sure it's right, she does manage to hold her own in some ways but listening to her thoughts she is EXACTLY the mouse I thought she is. 

 

So I'm trying to say, Sara is just not interesting enough to follow and since we only hear her, it's not compelling enough to keep going though I know that there is a lot more to come. Well, I think so... there is the feel of a "love triangle" there.. 

 

Lets talk a minute about the two men - Chris is really sweet, I get why she is so interested in him. He is sexy, he is artistic, he is rich and famous, ya know.. the usual appeal those guys have.. and that's just it! She speaks (and thinks!) like a total groupie! She is too excited about any encounter they have, too nervous about him doing the most casual thing. It's just a total turn off for me. I can't seem to find HER appeal to him and I don't get what he finds so interesting (his word, not mine..) in her. He could find a thousand like her and she isn't even described as especially pretty.. 

 

Now we have Mark, the overbearing, bossy, obsessive and controlling owner of the gallery and also her boss. What's his appeal again? money? influence? good looks? because with SUCH a shitty personality I can't find ANY reason to be attracted to him for more than a whole minute! (meaning until he speaks and you realize he's an ass!). There is some attraction from Sara's part (?) and there is an interest from his part for sure but I simply don't get what makes a woman want a man like that. It's nice having someone taking care of you, nice when someone knows you so well he knows what you want before you utter a word but there is something, well, disgusting in a man that is so arrogant and controlling he can assume he knows what you want and especially what you can and WILL do for him or to please him. YUCK! I get playing a little when it comes to sex, it's a sort of a "game", it's for the fun, the rush and all that. But when someone is like that ALL THE TIME I really don't find the appeal, I'm sorry. I think women came a long way from being treated like an object a man owns so reading of someone who hasn't realized that isn't something I enjoy reading. I should say that Mark hasn't done anything terrible in the 38% I've read.. he's mainly arrogant and controlling but it's more than a gut feeling here that we'll only get to see more of his cave man side in the next pages (I'm not going to read...)

 

So actually the only one with an appeal in this book is Chris. Frankly everyone and everything else is of no interest what-so-ever. All the side characters are too sweet and friendly in a very unrealistic way, and the plot itself doesn't move an inch.

 

So that's it for the review. I really think you should read more reviews of this series before you take my word(s) for it.  I've always been different no matter where I am and who I talk to so you might totally and absolutely disagree with me on this one. Yet again, if you found my previous reviews helpful maybe we're in the same mind set so you SHOULD actually take this review seriously ;)

 

Well either way just remember - reading a book is never a waste of time :)

The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood #12) - J.R. Ward

The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #12) - J.R. Ward

Honestly, I don't feel like writing this review. First because I was disappointed.. and second because I have some things I want to refer to that would be a spoiler.. so we'll see how it goes..

 

While the other books in the series, each portrait a specific couple, this one is a bit different. First because Beth and Wrath aren't a new couple and aren't new to us and second because they don't feel like the main heroes which was FINE BY ME. I don't like both of them. Haven't been their fan from the first book in the series = their book. Wrath is too alpha male for me and Beth, in my eyes, isn't special, there isn't anything attractive in her character and I don't "get" why so many characters in the series consider her a really good friend because while reading it, you read *of* the relationship you don't read it first hand.  

 

The main issue with Wrath and Beth is the fact that Beth wants a baby (and Wrath doesn't..). But it's not the only issue, we also have the Band of Bastards wanting to disown Wrath and the Glymera trying to remove him from the throne because of Beth being a half breed. So considering both - it was simply boring.. yep, boring..

 

Beth and the baby. I myself don't want kids, I don't find them appealing. I also don't get that at a certain age you "have to" have a kid. I might change my mind 10 years from now but right now, at the age and stage that I'm in, and especially since I'm reading Paranormal Romance and not some other genre that might involve a family concept (and not just the couple concept) I find the whole subject to be, well, boring. 

 

I remember I read an argument in some forum, I can't remember if it was te BDB or another one but actually it doesn't matter, the issue was the difference between Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance. As it was describes there - in a Paranormal Romance it's about the main couple. If it's a series (not a stand alone) then each book would be about a certain couple finding their HEA. On an Urban Fantasy series it would be different. The whole series would be of one couple and their adventures and also the way the relationship is built throughout the plot. The main argument in this discussion was that kids have no place in a Paranormal Romance. In Urban Fantasy it could make sense. I guess I agree with that though I'm not sure I know enough about how each category is defined..

 

This argument promotes exactly what I'm trying to say - that Beth and Wrath having a baby is of no interest to the story. Think about Bella and Z. She got pregnant but it wasn't the main issue in their book and in the short novella "Father Mine" it was also not really about Nalla but about Z dealing with something very significant and making another step in healing himself. Here it's all about an obsession with having a kid. All Beth's thoughts and the things she does, the arguments with Wrath it's all about that. BORING. 

 

So yeah, I got that established.. Now to the other subject "The King" - BOB, Glymera and all that. I hated the whole sub plot. The Glymera are really something.. I find it hard to believe what they accomplished and even more absurd how the issue was resolved. Made NO SENSE in my mind and only made me disrespect that one who offered it.. it's an infantile move not a smart one and I would have expected more from that character. That being said Xcor is SUCH a disappointment. He was never my favorite in any sense of the word but his behavior makes NO SENSE. It's like the Warden had an idea she wanted to promote and she couldn't find a way to make it work so she just expected we'll take this one as it is.. and if we're speaking of Xcor then Layla is also quite bizarre in her behavior.   

 

I think that there were some things missing from the plot. We got some glimpses to the past, Wrath's parents and also another side character that will probably be mentioned in the next books since he becomes close to Wrath. Thing is, you don't get to really feel how the relationship was built and how it works out. There were a lot of times I felt this sort of "leap" that we had to have for the story to make sense.. Like there was a chapter that was deleted in editing.. 

 

Also we see Havers but also hear of him - like the fact that he doesn't treat gay. really?!?! what kind of a doctor is THAT?! there is so much wrong with this person I can fill a book! and also, another leap of faith for us - he's a traitor, there is NO WAY Wrath can consider going to him after what he does. Yet, he still considers him an option when there is a medical situation. Take a page from G. R. R. Marin - JUST FUCKING KILL HIM!

 

All that being said lets talk about the good staff - two couples - Assail and Sola and Trez and Selena. 

 

With Assail and Sola there is A LOT going on. really. and all of it is GREAT!! I can't wait to read the next one and see how it works out because we were left with a heart ache in the end of the book.. Assail became a favorite in the previous book and in this one I love him even more! 

 

On the previous one Sola gets abducted and Assail goes to rescue her. Oh boy what a rescue it THAT and what a charming male he becomes when it's about her! and what a killer when it's not :) 

 

I don't know how it will work out the fact that he is dealing with the enemy. The Brotherhood won't be able to forget that (I think..) and also Sola doesn't want to take part in his world and it's not like he has another occupation.. He's really a "bad guy". Rehv was a drug lord as well but he did it because he needed the money for his ransom and could stop when he didn't have to pay anymore..

 

Moving to the next couple.. Trez and Selena. We basically see how they get to know each other and Trez opening up to her. But since the next book is of both Trez and iAm we'll need to get there to see the HEA. I also really enjoyed reading iAm. There is a lot more to him and his silence. I loved what's going on with the s'Hisbe, I mean for the first time both iAm and Trez tries to put a stop to Trez marrying the Queen's daughter and it's quite interesting the person they turn to help. 

 

This book has been a long one. At least for me. I think there was too much of "around and around", too many pages describing objects, rooms, houses. There were too many times I had to "hold myself" to keep on reading so we get to the "good staff". 

 

I'm not sure what's to come in the series. I'm too addicted to even consider stopping even though this one was a total miss for me. It's still a GREAT series but I'm starting to realize I don't appreciate it as I used to. I read SO MUCH since I started reading this series and I have my misgivings about it. So even though I'll still recommend it with all my heart (!) to any Paranormal Romance lover out there I won't be shy saying what I DON'T like about it. 

 

So yeah, if you're read this series this far - don't miss the new couples! so what if Wrath and Beth are a bore :P and get ready (like I do!) for the next of the shadows!

Reading progress update: I've read 18%.

If I Were You (Inside Out Trilogy, #1) - Lisa Renee Jones

mmm I'm not "impressed". Sara, the main heroine and only POV, is quite boring. She is a sort of a mouse. Everything is too exciting or frightening for her and I don't find myself "believing" what she finds so disconcerting. 

I have a feeling I'm going to dislike her even more when a man starts controlling her. Since as it seems she doesn't have a back bone. She is just this nice little lady.

I guess the guy(/s?) should have the appeal in this one but since I only have her POV I don't think I'll manage to read all of it with interest.. 

June 2014 Goals

The King - J.R. Ward If I Were You - Lisa Renee Jones Being Me - Lisa Renee Jones Revealing Us (Inside Out Trilogy) - Lisa Renee Jones Maybe Someday - Colleen Hoover Hold on Tight - Serena Bell Free Falling - S.E. Jakes Dirty Deeds - S.E. Jakes Daylight Again (Hell or High Water) - SE Jakes

 

The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood #12)

By J. R. Ward

After more than two months of preparing I'm FINALLY ready for this one! 

 

Originally I planned on reading this month Dexter's books. There are mixed reviews of them but since the brilliant (!) TV show is over I thought I'd delve into the printed word and see for myself from what this TV show was built. Yet with May being over and half of what I planned not being read I decided to postpone the series to "who knows" :D and adding instead what I didn't manage to read last month - the "Inside Out" series by Lisa Renee Jones.

 

If I Were You (Inside Out, #1)

Rebecca's Lost Journals, Volume 1: The Seduction (Inside Out, #1.1)

Rebecca's Lost Journals, Volume 2: The Contract (Inside Out, #1.2)

Rebecca's Lost Journals, Volume 3: His Submissive (Inside Out, #1.3)

Rebecca's Lost Journals, Volume 4: My Master (Inside Out, #1.4)

Being Me (Inside Out, #2)

The Master Undone (Inside Out, #2.5)

Revealing Us (Inside Out, #3)

His Secrets (Inside Out, #3.1)

By Lisa Renee Jones

As a few other writers I'm loving lately, I found Lisa through a bundle for the holiday, what was it? "Heating up the Holidays" and then I read another novella by her called "Unwrapping Holly" so now I'm trying this series which I've a read has a lot of followers. 

 

Maybe Someday

By Colleen Hoover

I had my issues with the first series by Colleen. Everybody loved "Slammed" so much! and I wasn't impressed AT ALL, then I decided not to keep on "judging" and read her second series "Losing Hope" and I was really impressed! by the books but also by the change and difference between the two series. I've heard this one is also really good. 

 

Hold on Tight 

By Serena Bell

This one is new by Serena (will be published on the 17th this month). I really enjoyed her last one - Yours to Keep - and generally loved everything I've read by her. 

 

Free Falling

Dirty Deeds (Dirty Deeds #1)

Daylight Again (Hell or High Water #3)

By S.E. Jakes

I'm checking out more by SE Jakes - two spin-off sorta books to the Hell or High Water series and also the third in the series.  

 

Summer Rain

By Ruthie Knox and more.. 

This one is an anthology of 9 short stories written by 9 different authors. The proceeds from the book with be donated to RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network). I'm addicted to Ruthie so it's no surprise I'm planning on reading this one as soon as it gets published (on the 9th this month) but it's also for a great cause! double bonus! :) 

 

Happy reading to all of us! :)

 

January Goals / January Recap

February Goals / February Recap

March Goals / March Recap

April Goals / April Recap

May Goals / May Recap

May 2014 Recap

Whisper to Me  - Christina  Lee Burning Dawn - Gena Showalter Debt of Bones (Sword of Truth Prequel Novel) - Terry Goodkind Beyond Shame  - Kit Rocha Beyond Control - Kit Rocha Beyond Denial - Kit Rocha Beyond Pain - Kit Rocha Marked - 'Kit Rocha',  'Lauren Dane',  'Vivian Arend' Beyond Jealousy (Volume 4) - Kit Rocha Beyond Solitude (Beyond #4.5) - Kit Rocha

May flown by yet I read a lot less than I expected. I thought that since the end of March and the whole of April were really busy I'll drown myself in my reading in May. Yet May have been busy as well, and even though I had a (mini) vocation I haven't read there at all which means that a whole series I planned for May got postponed to June.. 

 

I finally finished the Black Dagger Brotherhood by J. R. Ward re-read or actually re-listen (meaning the first book in June is going to be "The King" BDB #12)

Lover Reborn (BDB #10)

Lover At Last (BDB #11)

 

 

Author of the Month: (Whisper to Me) Christina Lee

I just finished writing my review of this book and after reading the previous two I'm just hooked to Christina. I'll read anything she'll publish. I love her characters, love the way she builds them, the story is very fluent and easy to read and the guys, oh my, she truly destroyed real men for all of us.. I rather have imaginary Bennett, Quinn and Kai (I'll settle for just Kai actually :P) than any mewww guy out there.  

 

Favorite Book of the Month: Burning Dawn (Angles of the Dark #3) By Gena Showalter

Last month I've read the previous two in the series and Gena was my favorite author for April. This book also didn't disappoint. I really love this series, loved that there is a different yet not totally separate world from Lords of the Underworld that brings a different vibe and feel. I also think that the women kick ass! They have more spirit than the women in LotU. Each one is somehow a fighter. Elin is no different! and Thane is so such an interesting character. Loved reading this love story and how it evolved. Can't wait for more books in the series! 

 

Disappointment of the Month: Debt of Bones (Sword of Truth #0.5) By Terry Goodkind (Audiobook)

Actually I don't even have a review of this one.. I might add one in the future just to be "organized". After finishing the audio books of the BDB I thought about finding another series to listen to and since I watched the TV series adaptation called "Legend of the Seeker" I thought the books might be cool. Imagine my disappointment finding out this one is a children's book.. The characters might be old in age but they are behaving like kids. I'm not talking about teenagers, no, I'm talking about honest to god children (about 10 years old or maybe less).  

 

Discovery of the Month: Beyond series by Kit Rocha

(See links to all books in April Goals)

Erotica isn't usually my style. Basically because I need a story, a plot, something beside the sex.. and Erotica books can sometimes forget about that and bring us a very long and detailed sex scene :P and yet Beyond is somehow different, special in the way the world is built and the way the sex isn't just there for the sex but it also explains the world in which the characters live (a bit complicated to understand, I know, you have to read it to understand). I really enjoyed the first one mostly for being so unique and I was actually prepared to hate it! I really dislike the second one, from there in my eyes the series got better. I'm not sure if the third "Beyond Pain" or the last novella "Beyond Solitude (#4.5) is my favorite. I loved the building of the characters in both of them which I think was VERY lacking in the first two. I will continue reading this series though I must say that reading these one after another was a little bit of an over load of shameless sex and alpha males.. :D

 

No "Fun Break of the Month" since all the books I've read this month are already listed in the above categories.. 

 

Well, that's it for now. I'll be adding June's Goals soon! 

Whisper to Me (Between Breaths #3) - Christina Lee

Whisper to Me  - Christina  Lee

AMAZING! simply AMAZING!

 

I don't even know where to begin and how! You know that sometimes you read a book, a good book, one you enjoy and yet it takes you a while? it's like you can't seen to focus enough or commit so you read it over a long period of time? well, Christina's books DO NOT have this flaw! they are so fluent, so easy to read and relate you encounter a different problem entirely - you finish them in one day and then what?? Lucky I have an endless list of books to read otherwise I would have mourn the absence of more books by her..

 

This is the third installment in the Between Breaths series telling us the story of Rachel and Kai. Just so you'll know there are at least two more planned the forth one "Promise me This" of Nate and Jessie will be released in October (a birthday present! YAY! :)). I loved the first one and considering it was Christina's first book I appreciate it even more. But I must say that reading the first one I loved Avery, was intrigued by Ella (and loved her and Quinn in their book) but wasn't so into Rachel. We got a small glimpse of her, basically that she's a flirt. I don't have anything against it, it's just that there wasn't a lot to the character that I could understand who she is and what her "motives" are. 

 

Yet I was hooked to this book from the first page. Rachel became three dimensional in a second and suddenly it all made sense about why she behaves as she does. Kai is a sweet heart. If you loved Bennett and Quinn prepare to crush to the ground over Kai! a pierced musican.. yeah.. that could have been enough but actually what so heart crushing about him is the fact that he excels in taking care of Rachel. For me this is one major turn on! 

 

From childhood they were four best friends - Rachel, Dakota and her older brother Kai and Shane, Kai's best friend. Rachel have been thorough a lot before she moved to college. I won't write what happened though you'll find out in about the first chapter.. I'll just say that during her recovery her best friends where there for her, mostly Kai but then he left and she decided not to stay in her home town where people looked at her with pity and go somewhere no one knows her and be a care free person (as we met her in the previous books in the series). 

 

Coming back home for the summer to help her mother with her shop while living with Dakota at her apartment (where Kai is also staying for time being) brings back old memories and struggles. It gets even more difficult when her friends from college knowing nothing of her past coming to visit. But mostly it's Kai. Her and Kai. He changed from the last time she saw him, and she can't hold back the attraction she feels towards him. 

 

Kai had a major crush on Rachel. It happened when he helped her out after the significant event in her life. When he left abroad he thought that the crush would be over but it left him empty. When he came back for the summer and saw Rachel again he realized his feelings for her are getting more serious yet Rachel, the new Rachel, is about having fun and release with guys nothing more. Kai can't bring himself to tell her how he feels about her especially when it seems what she wants and needs from him - in the physical aspect - isn't about HIM, it's about escaping, relaxing, getting away from life and no matter what the both of them don't want to destroy the friendship they have though it changed from when he left and it became even more difficult with their new attraction and physical contact.

 

I loved Kai from the first chapter I read from his POV. He is just so beautiful in every aspect. Yeah, he's good looking but I mean the way he cares for Rachel, the way he struggles with his feelings for her, His difficulties in life, finding himself and what he wants to do. I kinda think that he ruined real men for me.. :D Well, he isn't the only one but I must say that in my eyes he is just ideal, even though he isn't perfect. 

 

I loved this book so much! Loved both Rachel and Kai and their struggles with life, truths, feelings, Love. I had a stomach ache half the book with how much they felt toward one another (even though Rachel didn't admit it most of the time) and yet then couldn't share it one with the other. 

 

You can read this one even if you haven't read "All of You" and "Before you Break". So no excuses like "haven't read the previous ones!" you are more than welcome to flung yourself all over this one! Not that I'm saying you should skip them! all three are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G-! 

 

Recommended!!!

 

Reading progress update: I've read 11%.

Whisper to Me  - Christina  Lee

Will it be awkward if I just say - Christina I love you!

It's amazing how quickly I delved into this book in a way I haven't in a while.

I just love Christina's writing, love the way she brings her characters to life.

I actually mourn all I have to do today that would keep me away from this book!

(now back to reading!)

Lover At Last (Black Dagger Brotherhood #11) - J.R. Ward

Lover at Last - J.R. Ward

Well, well, well... this is my final re-read of the series! I start the re-read in the 25th of February meaning it took me almost 3 months! (I thought it's going to be 2... but I forgot how long these are). 

 

This book has been long awaited by fans. I don't think the Warden actually had Blay and Quinn's book in mind. I know that after the previous one there was a talk of a short novella telling their story because when you think about it, there isn't a lot that could/should happen to bring them together, the both of them are "already there". Blay has been in love with Quinn for years and Quinn just needs to realize that marrying a chosen and having kids with her might be great in theory but it's not what HE wants it's what his parents would have considered "proper" (though they wouldn't have dreamed of that EVER happening to Quinn..). That being said, since this is a full novel, expect a lot of side stories because there's just not enough for the two of them to fill of whole book.

 

As we came to know Quinn and Blay throughout the previous books I got the feeling that Blay is exactly what Quinn needs. He has been there for him for so many times and their relationship might have been only platonic but it was very deep (even though nothing was actually said, the way Blay was there for Quinn and how much Quinn depended on him said it all). What Blay found in Quinn? Well. it's quite obvious there is something special to Quinn, who he is, his charisma, great friend, courageous, well, you know Quinn no need to keep going, right? and I should say that even though he has been through a lot I loved that he wasn't a "cry baby" (like Phury was in his book...) He dealt in his own way, not always the best way, and he almost lost Blay with his bad decisions but he did what he could and I think that his character has been through quite a ride from when we first met him as a pre-trans. Blay has his "magic" as well, a loyal and caring friend, a courageous fighter as well, but also a gentlemen with great manners. I think that he's the kind of guy women mourn "losing" (since he's gay :P). He really has it all. 

 

When I first read it, about a year ago, it's was my first MM Romance. I don't think I spent a lot of time thinking about how this book is going to be, if I'll find it awkward somehow, or, I don't know, less than a I would find a heterosexual novel. I just loved the both of them so much from the start so I just wanted them to get their happily Ever After.. and then the book came, the sex came as well but nothing felt out of place or really THAT different. Actually it has a good different vibe to the story because of the fact people might expect differently from them or that people might not understand their relationship. But anyhow I loved this book and didn't mind at all the fact that the main couple aren't man/woman but two guys. Since then I've read quite a lot of MM Romance books and I'm really glad I got into it because there is something fun and refreshing in them. A different feel but in a good way :)

 

Lets go to the story itself..

 

Well, it's been a while since I actually finished this one, just didn't find the right time to write this review! This book is SO long and there are a lot of sub plots. Basically we get to see Quinn as the more somber self. He wants to build himself and he wants to be worthy of Blay (though he feels he already lost him to Saxton..) he does a lot of "hero acts" that makes him, well, himself! and makes us love him even more than we did in the previous books. Blay on the other hand is more distant. His relationship with Saxton isn't really working though the sex is great.. it's just not Quinn and nothing can change the way he feels about his former ex-best-friend. But also when Quinn shows his interest Blay isn't swayed (which leads to too many heart breaking moments..) because he doesn't believe Quinn is really ready for what it means to be in a relationship, to be in a GAY relationship, and all that it actually means - not marrying a female of worth and having children with her, but being (in the future) a brother coupled with a brother.. Even I see how strange it looks from the side (without saying how unjustified it is to have 2 gorgeous and amazing guys into themselves! and not into us the fair sex.. truly a miss...wait, didn't I already say that a paragraph ago ;)).

 

So Quinn is really out there in this book. Heart open to being hurt being courageous in so many ways. Also slapping some aggression in a really yummy way! (in protection of both Layla and Blay) Yet you'll have to wait a LONG time to see the HEA part but when you do.. ahhh it was SO worth it!

 

and now to the sub plots - 

 

We get to read more of Layla. She is really getting more confident with herself. I love seeing how she evolved from the first time we met her to who she is now. There is a brilliant scene with Havers that she REALLY puts him in his place. Well, not really his place since I do think a grave is the only place he deserves but well, she does enough :) 

 

There is Xcor and his Band Of Bastards plotting to dethrone Wrath. But we also get to see a more vulnerable side to Xcor though I still don't like him. I see him as barbaric and not in any positive sense. I don't see what's the appeal between Layla and him and I wonder how it could ever work between them.. 

 

We get to see what's going on with Blay and Saxton from Saxton's POV which proves how much he is NOT the selfless whore Quinn considers him to be. He is a caring person. He tolerates so much in the relationship with Blay - basically being with a guy who is in love with another.. it's kinda heart breaking for him as well. I wonder if we'll ever see his HEA which will only happen if he get attached to a brother since all the books are of people who are either in the brotherhood or really close to it.. maybe a short novella? I'm not greedy :P

 

There a little bit of Wrath since he is dealing more with the BOB and what it does to his role as the King. Also he has a very interesting decision to make and I loved how he solved it. 

 

There is also more of the Shadows - iAm and Trez - which will be the main characters in the next book (after "The King" that is..). There is a conflict going on and Trez isn't really dealing with it so iAm does what he can to help him even if what he does won't help in the long run. Also there is a love interest to Trez, I can't wait to see THIS ONE unfold!!! 

 

Unfortunately we have a lesser as a POV - Mr. C. - The only reason we have him is because he has someone of interest - a real shocker even though it was mentioned in the previous books we kind of forgot about it i guess.. maybe I forgot about it.. anyhow it brings another layer to the story. 

 

Last but not least - Assail and Sola. Well, Assail we met in the previous book he wants to become the next drug lord (sort of replacing Rehvenge), in a way they are quite similar and yet they are different. I really like him. He isn't a "bad guy" by definition but he ISN'T a good guy for sure! I loved seeing his interest in Sola - a (human!) woman paid to spy on him. I heard that the both of them have a role in "The King" and since there is a cliff hanger when it concerns to the both of them it's more than a "little interest". I know a lot of people didn't like Assail or their sub plot in this book but I think it's more about greediness in having more of Quinn and Blay than the characters themselves. It's like we got to know Rehv in Phury's book more than before and then when his book came it was brilliant. 

 

Well, that's it! Now that I finished re-listening to this one I'll FINALLY delving in "The King" that would probably be in less than a week - YAY!

Beyond Solitude (Beyond #4.5) - Kit Rocha

Beyond Solitude (Beyond #4.5) - Kit Rocha

This one was published as a part of "Alphas After Dark" an anthology containing 9 short stories. I only read this one. I can't invest myself with more series at the moment, nothing personal here.. It takes place somewhere around book 4 not after it. If you read the last one (especially the last chapter) you'll get why it's not possible it took place AFTER it. 

 

and oh! I guess is you haven't read the previous ones it doesn't matter. You can just jump into it and see what you feel about the world. You'll meet some of the people in the previous books but it doesn't really matter since there aren't any spoilers to the plot itself (and since there isn't a lot of it anyway.. :P)

 

I should say i didn't even remember who Derek Ford was.. then I remembered the reference to him getting hurt and walking home with a broken leg.. ouch! the other main character is Mia. I think I remember her name being said but I don't think there was more to it than that. She came from Sector 2, same house as Lex. 

 

If you read my review of the second book in the series - the one about Lex and Dallas you might remember I HATED it. Not because it was "bad" because I expected SO much more about the main characters and I didn't get it. Here we have a short novella yet we got so much more of Mia and her life before she came to Sector 4, so much more of how she feels and WHY. I like reading motives, thoughts that based somehow in previous experiences which makes the character more "real" or should I say more believable. I think Mia is my favorite woman in this series in the sense that she it best "explained" so I could relate to her better than other characters I didn't "understand".

 

We didn't really get Ford's past only the way he is in the present (which we didn't know before this book, unlike other main heroes we met in the previous ones). BUT what we did get was so accurate. I mean, it gave the right impression of who he is and why. I really loved him. Maybe he is my favorite male character in the series as well! I have to think about it hehe I loved that he wasn't obsessed with owning her as the other men are. He wasn't into submission submission submission. I kinda get tired of all of that especially after Rachel's book which is what she was after.. Ford truly cares for Mia and he showed it all the time even if he doesn't say it in words he acts it and for me, it's the true way of showing a person your feelings. 

 

Only thing I didn't like is that the ending was a bit rushed but hey! it's a short novella (round 150 pages) and what it gave in those pages was SO MUCH MORE that I expected to have and I think it's one of the best books in the series even if it's half or less than the previous ones. As I wrote before, for me it's about the story not about the sex. That being said don't expect a lot to be going on, it's short and it's basically about them and how the relationship is built and also describing the world for people who haven't read the previous ones but nevertheless I simply LOVED it. 

 

5 SHINING STARS!

Beyond Jealousy (Beyond #4) - Kit Rocha

Beyond Jealousy (Beyond, #4) - Kit Rocha

Well, this book was something else! it took me forever to read for all the reasons except for not enjoying reading it. I just had a lot to do and I went abroad for 4 days and I don't know if I read a whole 15 minutes in total! my friend wasn't into reading and our internet connection was barely there so it was all me and her having a relaxing vocation doing what we wanted (=a lot of shopping!) and not thinking too much about anything. Just like a real vocation should be! 

 

I tried telling my friend about this series and her reaction was "so, basically, you're reading porn". Well, maybe I am when it comes to this series hehe For me it's more about the story and not only about the sex, and I guess that's what makes this series so special, there's a lot of story IN the sex and in the play around the sex. With this book it was somehow magnified since we are not talking about a "regular" couple, we are talking about a treesum - Ace, Cruz and Rachel. 

 

I knew this book is going to be a threesum from the previous book. It started to get obvious with how Cruz and Ace's relationship was building and how Rachel couldn't decide between the two of them and since this is no regular contemporary romance in which the HEA comes in pairs - I knew we are going there and I'm even a bit surprised I wasn't "worried" about it. Worried I wouldn't "understand" it. Couldn't appreciate it for what it is. It brings me back to my first MM romance. I knew Blay and Quinn (Black Dagger Brotherhood #11 by J.R. Ward) are going to be a couple but even though I've never read a gay romance before I was invested in the characters and wanted to see it happen and then I loved it and started reading MM romance. I"m not saying I'm going to look for threesums in books from now on, but I won't shy from it either. I just need to have a plot beside the threesum... Just the threesum with nothing around it won't be enough for me. 

 

That being said - there's A LOT of sex in this book a little bit more that I would have felt was "necessary" meaning there's isn't enough of getting to know the characters. We get to know how Rachel got to Sector 4, a little bit about Cruz's past (and unknown present) and also of Ace's past but I would have preferred to get more about them apart and together and not only so they could have sex.. I also thought that Rachel and Cruz should have reacted to how Ace was hiding in clear site. I expected a "big secret" or maybe something more than what his "problem" was with being with the both of them. 

 

BUT I loved Ace even though he is who he is and how he is, but I also really loved Cruz! YUM couldn't begin to describe the guy! so I get why Rachel was better off getting the both of them and not having to choose :D 

 

There isn't a lot of plot. We meet Rachel's father and there's an issue with O'Kane liqueur being forged and sold as the real thing and a little cross sectors clash (which will probably play out in the next books). We get to meet a girl named Lili and after reading her short chapter I think she is going to be the main character in the 6th book "Beyond Innocence". But I'm just guessing here :) I should warn you there is a kinda cliff hanger in this one. I wasn't expecting that! But I guess since Summer is literally here I won't have to wait long for the fall to arrive and with it the next one. 

 

I really enjoyed the book for being what it is, for being different, for being more than I would have ever been comfortable reading in the past yet enjoyed now which is why I'm giving this one 5 stars even if it wasn't "perfect". I guess it's kinda like another way of being "Beyond Shame" :) 

Beyond Temptation (Beyond #3.5) - Kit Rocha

Marked - Lauren Dane,  Vivian Arend,  Kit Rocha

This novella is part of a 3 novella bundle by different authors. I actually didn't read the other two (and I'm not sure I will, for no particular reason.. I just have so much to read already..).

 

It's the story of 2 characters we got to meet in the previous book but actually we only got a small glimpse of - Emma (or in her full name - Emmaline Cibulski) - Ace's apprentice and Noah Lennox the guy who can hack anything and get any information anyone needs - or as it seems now - the information Dallas needs. 

 

In the previous book Dallas tries to contact Noah via Emma. He knows there's a past somewhere buried between the two of them but at that moment he doesn't know just HOW MUCH. When Noah answers Dallas's call he is sure that Emma (his best friend's sister) is being held hostage as a means to getting him to play nicely and he is VERY surprised to find out that Emma is a full O'Kane, tattoos and all and is NOT the little girl (well, 19 back then) she used to be when he payed off her safety - which didn't work that well if she's an O'Kane right now dancing cheerfully in Sector 4 for all to see - mostly his enemies. Which means he can't stick around after he finds her, or at least that's what he's trying to tell himself.. Emma doesn't want to let her first crush (and love) go, so slowly slowly she makes him realize he just can't leave her behind. But what happens when she finds the truth about what happened right before her brother died and what let to him dropping her off to a  woman who was suppose to take care of her?

 

This novella was steamy as all Beyond books are. I really enjoyed it, loved how much Emma changed and how strong she is now and basically all Noah would have wanted her to be though back then all he wanted was to shelter her. Kinda worked for the best :) 

 

Next one if of Rachel and Ace but from how the last book (Beyond Pain #3) ended I wonder if we'll end up with a threesum (with Cruz) and not just the two of them ;)

Beyond Pain (Beyond #3) - Kit Rocha

Beyond Pain - Kit Rocha

It's quite strange.. the first book I liked - it was different, it had a different vibe than I'm used to, and even though I had my misgivings about it, I did enjoy it (and gave it 4 stars). Then came the second which I absolutely hated. I didn't like the characters (or how they "played out") I didn't like the fact that we didn't get enough background story to support the character and didn't understand the appeal of the main hero (I still don't..) but I still felt I wanted to give the rest a go since I liked Bren and Six and wanted to get their story and also there's Rachel and Ace (next one) that I'm interested in so I thought I should put my dislike of the previous one aside and just delve into this one. 

 

I'm SO glad I didn't miss on this one! It was well written in the aspect of characters' build, we got their back story (not to full extent but much better than the previous ones), I could understand their motives, could understand their attraction to one another and how / why it worked so well between them and I could see the development of both characters throughout the book.

 

Their love story was beautiful! I loved the fact that it took both of them time to give themselves a chance with one another. Bren didn't want to have sex with Six if she isn't ready, and she wasn't sure what she wanted and what would happen though it was obvious to her she was VERY attracted to Bren. 

 

This book have more of a story line concerning Sector 3 - Dallas puts Bren in charge and wants Six's help in getting intel on who's who and who might play nicely (or badly..) along the way they encounter "something big" that suppose to happen and as it seems it puts both Six and Bren on edge (for different reasons) and both of them have a hard decision to make.

 

Bren is absolutely a sweet heart. I know most people (in any Sector or Eden) will NEVER consider him as such - but he is!! and it shows with everything he does or doesn't do with Six. He keeps himself in focus with everything but with her, especially what she has been through he really wants to make sure she is doing the right decision. I liked how he took everything step by step with her and how much she changed throughout the book. There are a lot of (sex) scenes that shows how she gets more comfortable with herself, with him, with the both of them together. In each (sex) scene she deals with different aspects of things she wasn't comfortable with because of her past and because it's hard for her to put her trust in anyone. 

 

She is such a fighter! I love that about her. No matter what she has been through she doesn't let go, she fights for what she wants and how people will see her. She is the most powerful victim character I've ever read. Usually when we have in a book a woman who have been through hell she basically "gets better", learns to put the past - in the past, find someone who treats them well and love them ant that's it. But here she does that but also have her revenge (killing her tormentor) and showing all around her how strong she is and how much she is capable of taking care of herself and the fact that she isn't a victim NOW even if she was a victim in the past, and she is NEVER going to be a victim again.

 

I should say that I still dislike Dallas. He has one outburst that was totally out of line that was just disgusting and also he and Lex feel "phony". I don't "get" the way Dallas is behaving himself so well around her, letting her be a part of the "management", that's not something that happens overnight.. (as it was described in the previous book). Lucky for me there aren't THAT much of the both of them in the book and well, Lex alone I like, but them together or him along I totally dislike!

 

It's a good series. It is. But I think that it could have been much better if the authors would have worked more on the characters. I get that there's a lot of meanings to the characters while they're having sex but there is still quite a lot missing. When I look at the first two books, the characters are quite superficial. Even though you KNOW there is depth to them it's somehow missing from the actual plot/story. Maybe people who read Erotica is more interested in reading the sex, which is fine by me, but I need more  -  an actual story or you know what, sometimes it's not even the story but the characters themselves. If they are built right then can carry the plot without an outstanding plot around them.  I do hope the next one will be better in this aspect. 

Beyond Denial (Beyond #2.5) - Kit Rocha

Beyond Denial (Beyond, #2.5) - Kit Rocha

A short scene from the second book "Beyond Control", taking place in the party where Dallas interviews the guys from sector 3.

 

We get to see Ace succumb to his desire to Rachel, not with her but with Jared the whore.

 

I really enjoyed their little talk and what followed.. especially their little observer... Can't wait to get their story! I don't really get why she stays away from him! But after hearing his side of the story I kinda get why it's difficult to become a couple in a place where it's for life anyway as they are a part of the O'Kane if their relationship works or doesn't.. 

 

We first met Jared in the previous book on a chapter from Ace's POV. Hope to get more of him, he's really smart but mostly funny.  

Beyond Control (Beyond #2) - Kit Rocha

Beyond Control - Kit Rocha

I'm disappointed.. this book took me forever (!) to read simply because I felt it could have been so much more.. I kept waiting for it to get GOOD but in the end, and literally in the end I was just disappointed (all over again...)

 
Lex could be so much more, Dallas SHOULD have been so much more and the other characters? I want them to be complex, to have a lot to them, things we would discover in time, things that will change what I think of them or make me like them more than I do. But sadly I feel that the characters aren't developed enough..


when I look at Jasper and Noelle, what I see is Dallas's second in command though I don't know whats between them to make Jas so loyal to Dallas. In their book we didn't get to really know him and Noelle, there;s basically only one side to Noelle - sex - the more the better and the kinkier the better (the best is also with Lex naturally). There are maybe two scenes in this book where she is actually a person - being a friend to Lex. But it wasn't enough for me to feel she has enough substance. She was just a side character Lex unloads to and considering she was a main character in the previous book I would have wanted her to feel more flesh and bones. 

 

But lets talk about the main characters - Dallas and Lex - 


I'll start with Lex because I half like her or I used to like her in the previous book, but up close in a book were she is the "star" she is just a shadow. I wanted to see this strong independent woman who have been through hell but still got the meanest bastard of them all - got him tamed! because if someone can tame the beast - she can!

 

I had so much respect for her in the previous book but here? she isn't even interesting.. and we didn't even really get her back story. It's more like we got speculations to what she went through. I felt it was missing and it was robbing us a lot of how her character was built, who she really is and why..

 

It also didn't make sense to learn that basically all she wants to do is be owned by Dallas. WHY OH WHY? a woman this strong needs a man to hold her neck in a possessive grip? why not the other way around? What does she get "in return" from her relationship with Dallas? If she is really this strong woman can her wish truly be to let go of her power and surrender? and basically when we look at Lex with Dallas she is just this tame little kitten who just want to please, far from the lioness we came to love and appreciate in the previous book. As it seems, it's all in the collar.. 

 

and why, oh why, didn't they even try a relationship before if they were infatuated with each other for the past few years? because they didn't trust each other?! really? well, trust is built and not in one day so this too doesn't make any sense.. 

 

Now lets get to Dallas. Oh.. I truly hated him. I think I snorted while reading every sentence he said or thought (while reading his POV). Let's face it, he's an arrogant bastard. He is self consumed, he is possessive of everything around him in a megalomaniac sort of way. Or you know what, like a 3 years old - That's mine! Mine! Mine! (doesn't matter if we are talking about a bottle of drink, a crate or a living person...). I fail to see the attraction.. 

 

I wanted him to be this interesting character, the one who has to be Dallas the fearsome leader but actually wants to be just Declan once in a while, and especially with Lex, but can't because of the expectations people have of him. I could and would have got that if that was the case. But actually there is no Declan. There is only Dallas and all he wants is to own. Own more grounds, more people, more money and ho, also to own Lex. As his Queen. The beautiful Queen he expects to stand and look pretty but nothing more (and don't tell me you expected him to treat her like an equal because even SHE was naive to even consider that!)


I really wanted to see a more vulnerable side to him. See that under all his shit he is "human" but there was nothing (and sorry I REALLY didn't buy the "grand gesture" he made if I can even call it grand...). All he talks about when we are in his POV is possession and ownership, which in my eyes is disgusting. He is jealous, possessive, growling all the god damn time! If he was a vampire or a werewolf that would have made him somewhat sexy. But considering he is SUPPOSE to be human it only made him more of a beast and less of a man - deserving someone like Lex. At times I just imagined an ape banging his hands on his chest. I think the Kit Rocha duo wanted Dallas to be raw, true king material, but in my eyes they missed because he is lacking credibility - mainly humanity. I just couldn't understand what Lex found in him unless she would have been power hungry and she is clearly NOT the type.. 

 

I didn't appreciate how Dallas treated Lex right about 95% of the book. I don't think he really gets her and I don't think he will be in the future what she wants him to be. I didn't buy his repentant, becauseI don't think he really realized what he did wrong and there were a lot of things he did wrong!!! 

 

I must say that considering the air and vibe of the series, I didn't expect THAT MUCH possessiveness and jealousy from any guy, mated or not. What about the concept of freedom? in my eyes what we saw in this book is the total opposite. only thing they are free to do is fuck each other. In the previous book there was a lot of bondage and rough handling (which we also have a lot of here plus the toys), then, I thought it's fitting the scenery but I don't find someone holding a girl's neck tightly and thinking of ownership anything more than I would think of a dog owner holding his loving dog.. Instead of having a vibe of "otherness" to the whole collar and mating concept, all I got is it's about having a dog that trusts you enough to let you do to him what you know is best for them (and if we're talking about Dallas here then consider that trusts can be misused..).

 

I think that most of the book I didn't think Lex is more than a whore. Maybe a whore that is fucking the high and mighty and enjoying herself, but still, a whore.. wouldn't Cerys be proud.. I actually really loved Cerys (Section 2's Ruler) I thought she was the true powerful woman in the story. Lex might despise her and Dallas might hate her but she is better both as a ruler and a role model of "strong independent woman". I think Lex missed some of the most important lessons from her... 

 

So yeah, the previous one was great, I loved the world and how it was built but I feel like this could have been SO MUCH MORE but basically was a lot of sex with a little bit of a plot. and that's saying something considering this one has a lot more plot then in the previous one. Like a good side character that moves the plot, I felt that the plot that wasn't centered around Dallas and Lex had the sole purpose of making certain clashes for the main couple and not really having a real story line that meant something to the story / series.

 

i'll keep reading because I SO want Six and Bren's story to be more to my liking. We'll see how it goes.

Beyond Shame (Beyond #1) - Kit Rocha

Beyond Shame - Kit Rocha

I was quite sure I'm going to hate this book, maybe even hate with a vengeance or just find it totally and absolutely repulsive.. but I got a REALLY good recommendation for it so I simply had to give it a go.. So after reading a lot of horrible reviews (and some good ones...) and after postponing it for nearly a year I decided it's time to check this one out for myself. 

 

I'll start with what I was afraid this is going to be - a very long, very detailed, provocative, kinky, BDSM sex scene.. :D and to top it off, this one is Dystopia. I don't usually like reading the end of days kinda books. I don't mind reading near future Paranormal or current Paranormal but real world (I mean, people no supernatural beings) in the future in which all society as we know it is ruined? naaaa... I was never into those, not even in movies though there are A LOT of those. 

So as you can see, I had my reasons for not wanting to ever try reading it.. But my friend kept on asking me - WHEN WHEN - so finally I said to myself, well, yeah, lets do this. If I don't like it I can always put it down saying I tried..

 

We meet Noel, previously a high born who lived in Eden ("the" city) and now, dumped outside the city (sort of to the "slums" I guess). There she meets the darling Jasper who rescues her kinda without intending to into his "family" / gang - the O'Kanes which is run by Dallas who is sort of "in charge" of Section 4 (where she was dumped). She is quickly introduced into the "family" and finds a close friend with Lex who "guards" her from Dallas's wrath (or just mood swings, sometimes I wasn't sure..). While there, the virgin discovers her sexuality in a way she didn't know she possessed (keep in mind she was thrown out of Eden for fornication). Noel is up for right about anything and everything but mostly when it's with or towards Jasper. 

 

Outside of Eden people are free to do as they please, it also means there are far more sexually open than anything we are used to in the world around us. Sex parties is a weekly occurrence which can also include married couples (they call it differently, the wear a sort of collar or a tattooed one when it's a "certain" thing). But since it's all open and fun and games, you have to think carefully if what you want is a "mate". Jasper isn't sure if he should "own" Noel this way and while she is VERY into him she still doesn't understand the world around her and Lex keeps telling her she can do or choose whatever she wants.. 

 

Here goes all the sex scenes including Lex giving sexual lessons to Noel.. There's scenes with sex all around them, there are scenes of one girl with two guys or one guy with two girls or two guy and two girls, two girls together and even "god forbid" one girl with just one guy.. There is bondage, pain, dominance, kinky objects and more where they came from. A total sex-fest of a book really :P

 

Speaking of sex.. I'm reducing a star because there were too many times when it was "too much", I mean, they all get too worked out over the sex.. NO ONE passes out due to an over the top amazing orgasm.. as I see it, Noel is enjoying herself during those sex scenes, well, lets use the word - inhumanly.. I couldn't "buy it". No one gets THAT sexed up.. If we were in any kind of supernatural environment, and we were talking about another species I would have accepted it as it was. But Noel is just a girl.. a very hungry girl.. But if you put this "little fact" aside, the sex scenes were kinda hot. Yeah there we some scenes I was looking kinda puzzled over - like her getting turned on while getting tattooed.. I mean I have tattoos, the process is an OK kinda deal. A little pain, nothing a woman can't deal with, but it's a very neutral kinda thing. If she got turned on by THAT why not get turned on when she Plucks her eyebrows? same kinda pain if you ask me.. (I should add that Noel is into pain)

 

The other thing I was fearing was the Dystopia. The world is very different than what we live in now but actually I wasn't bothered by that at all because I was finding myself thinking and considering the meaning of the world and the way it is. It would sound terrible, I'm warning you! - I thought the world was interesting in a Sociological point of view. Really.  I was reading whole sex scenes and thinking to myself - wow, that's INTERESTING, but not what they shove where, and who sucks who off, but the way they live and why our world is different in the way we perceive sexuality. 

 

I gave this one 4 stars which means I DID enjoy it. Actually I REALLY enjoyed it though not for the reasons I thought I would |(or wouldn't..). Basically because it made me think about things besides the actual plot line. Made me think that there is more to the story than all those sex scenes one after another and the fact that everyone enjoys adding another happy partner (or two) into the mix. 

 

I'm not sure if I could actually explain what I found so interesting but I'll try...

It's mostly that inside the norm there is no place for this kind of sexual freedom. I'm not sure exactly why, I guess because most of the societies we live in are basically religious or used to be so they are conservative by nature. There is also a difference between guys and girls on this matter. A guy who screws around is this cool dude, but the girl who sleeps around is a slut.. Guys who are into a different girl each night are more about the "release" then the girl they are with. I remember I talked to someone who has a lot of casual sex and he explained to me that basically you should be concerned with your own pleasure. He didn't mean ignoring the other person, but he did emphasize that it's something, mmm, egocentric I guess.

 

In this world invented by the Kit Rocha duo (There is no Kit, it's two friends writing together under this name) it's basically ABOUT the pleasure. I felt that no matter who we are talking about, there is an "issue" about having the other party have the grandest time they could have, and the guys respected the women, if they didn't, they stayed alone since no woman would sleep with them (again..). The woman are really strong and independent. They sleep with whomever they want and easily brush off whomever they are NOT interested in. I'm not saying it's a woman's world. It's SO not (I just didn't mention the aggressive guys, the cage fights they enjoy just for fun of it...). But I think that at least in the sexual sense it's somehow equal or as equal as I think it should be in our world as well.

 

Also there is the fact that you can be with who you want, you can have multiple partners together or one after the other and there are no jealousy scenes (if there is jealousy it's kept quiet as a personal thing). Just think of all the possessive scenes you've witnessed in your life and how so many of them made you want to puke or physically harm the possessive person for treating the other person this way. 

 

There is something about this world and the concept of NO SHAME, of being who you want to be, experiencing what you want to experience without judgement or criticism. I'm not saying I want to experience all the things they do in this book (and boy oh boy there is a lot of variety....) but I DO think there is no reason for the way society perceives it, I think that something like sex which is basically "having fun" shouldn't be banned when no one gets hurt (or considers him/herself being hurt) and it sure shouldn't be condemned or look down upon. Here it's mostly about the sex but you can think about the "no shame, judgement and criticism" concept in a more general way, which is easy for me because I could never fit in no matter where I was and with whom - would have made my whole world different if the judgment was gone.. 

 

We live in a modern world but there is still so many things that considered "wrong" or taboo that really shouldn't  be (a lot of them sexual but not all of them) and if it changes over time it's a slow change and anyhow I don't think it will change into what happens in this book where you appreciate the other person and what they experience since our world is individualistic and their's is a "gang like" concept where there is a meaning to the "togetherness". So maybe we missed something by being so obsessed with ourselves, our needs and wants and not the person in front of us if we're talking about sex and if we are talking about life in general...

 

So yeah, it's been a ride this book. I'm not sure if everyone will see in the book what I did (probably not, that's one of the things you get used to when you are/were a "social outcast") and I don't know if the Kit Rocha duo thought about all the things I did or just invented a world where you can have sex however the hell you wanted and that's it.. but a book is a personal thing - we each get from it different things even if we both love or hate it, it's not guarantied it would be for the same reasons..

 

I will be continuing to the next one of Lex and Dallas (Beyond Control). I think Dallas is a really "realistic" character - there is a lot of "show" and not a lot of time to express who he really is or what he really wants in life. Sometimes being in charge means you have to put yourself aside so you could take care of everyone else.. sometimes you prefer people think you're an ass but a strong one (which he does a lot) but there is another side to him and I really want to see it in his and Lex's book. 

Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood #10) - J.R. Ward

Lover Reborn - J.R Ward

OK, lets just say it, shall we? 

THIS BOOK WAS HORRIBLE!

Now that it's out of my system I can say one last thing before I explain myself and this one is going to be - 

THOR IS A DOUCHE BAG AND DESERVED MUCH MORE PAIN THAN HE GOT!

 

Thor was never one of my favorites. He's too much "into" himself and the fact that he is the "level one" between the brothers. He was the only guy mated, the only guy who didn't have bad issues. Even though he doesn't have a "real" family (meaning mostly parents and/or siblings), he did have Darius who was like a father to him. So basically he was always considered the "good guy" but I felt nothing toward him. He doesn't have anything appealing about him, really. 

 

Then his Welsie died and he became such a walking tragedy. I get the grief, I do, I get why he walked out and wanted to die, I get it all, I don't get why with him it's all about HIM and never about anyone else including Welsie. He right about mistreated every person who was somehow close to him and naturally also the ones that aren't close.. Lassiter tried also to be there for him, as the brothers did but he kept to himself, to his brooding and trying to kill himself without pulling a trigger.. (=letting himself somehow drift away..). There's this limit to how much you can listen to (read) till it just gets boring. The pain and pity you feel sort of evaporates. Exactly how it was with Phury. You just feel like his brooding is boring. 

 

So while Phury's book was mostly boring because I couldn't be bothered with his shit, with Thor it was different since he did so many things WRONG that I was mostly enraged with the way he treated everyone, mostly No'One.  He just keeps offending her or treating her badly. To emphasize what I mean I'll just drop something here - You get a full disclosure of how sorry he is (towards No'One) only - get this - 92% through the book. Which means he's being a total and absolute ass up until then. So on the remaining 8%? I forgive him nothing and I think he shouldn't have gotten No'One and she surly needed to get a better guy that can actually appreciate her and make up for what she has been though in her short miserable life (and then her long sort of life in the sanctuary).

 

Mainly the book is about Thor letting Welsie go so she can move on from the "In Between" into "The Fade" (that's Lassiter's mission actually - helping him do that). So being with No'One is mostly about that. She knows that and it's OK by her in a way but I'm sure you realize after a while she falls for him anyway.. and well the way he treats her doesn't really help Welsie because he doesn't really let her go. I look at it as another way Thor is selfish. He wants to keep Welsie with him, doesn't want to let her go and it's selfish. Also it's stupid... the way he's ignoring the fact that she is dead.. 

 

I usually hold a file where I write the name of the people that we get their POV and sometimes a few words so I'll remember exactly what I wanted to write in my review. On this one? I have a whole page with complaints.. :/ 

 

I'm not sure if I should write my complaints down since they are sort of a spoiler.. so I'm hiding it.. It's mostly the notion of what annoyed me not a whole scene..  so suit yourself if you want to read it or not.. :)

 

 

Seeing her naked by mistake he accuses HER of being a whore who came from the other side just to she could seduce him.. right.. the woman who is scared of males (especially big ones like Thor..) after being raped by one..

 

What's the first thing Thor says to No'One when he sees her naked for the first time  and wants to fuck her - "You should eat more". Yeah, that will get her in the mood..

 

He sleeps with her, play around with her, but never speak to her about anything. just sort of expect her to be in his bed.. anyone remember how to spell "whore"?

 

Worst pre-sex scene EVER is when he looks ravishingly at No'One and wants to fuck her senseless but what he says to John who stand beside him is he will only love one and only one woman. I think the word Romance just about disappeared from the dictionary at that moment..

 

Their first time together? I wanted to PUKE! No Romance, not ever affection. After her first time with the Sympath being raped again and again by him, I'd expect the first time with another male to be more, well, Romantic? Too bad that's not a word Thor understands..

 

You know how it goes with males that after they sleep with a woman they go to bring her food then they feed her? Well, first thing Thor does? Goes to Lassiter to check if it means that Welsie is on her way to the fade.. :/

 

Another disgusting retort from Thor - admitting to her face he is using her and accusing her of enjoying it as a sort of self inflicting punishment for herself (since it's obvious he IS using her). For me that was THE END for any positive sentiment I'll ever have towards Thor. Even if it's true, that's no way to speak to a living person with a  heart, soul, feeling..

(show spoiler)

 

I have something to add before I continue with my review.. One of the main problem victims have, surely of the sexual kind is that the victim feels responsible somehow to what happened. It's a protective mechanism in a way since it helps the victim explain why it happened. Because if it was totally random it means you can't predict it or do something to ward yourself of it. So if the victim blames himself/herself then it lets the illusion that there is a way to control but also prevent further hurt. So I find it totally understandable that No'One somehow faults herself for everything that happened to her, the way she lives her life now, as a servant and not the high born she was. Unlike Thor, she didn't have anyone to really talk to about what happened, how she could heal herself. She was alone though she was surrounded by the Chosen in the sanctuary. With Thor it's different EVERYONE tries to help him deal with Welsie's death. So while accusing No'One with not being able to deal with what happened to her, he just shows how insensitive he really is! He is NO different from her, and unlike her he had so many people willing to help him, yet he neither appreciate them nor realizes that every word he uses against her is more than suitable for himself. As they say, when you point an accusing finger toward someone remember there are three fingers pointing back at you!

 

Maybe that's the place to write about No'One in general. On the other hand I really liked her, I "believed her", I mean I got why she wanted to be there for Thor, how she wanted to be there for Xhex but in the beginning she was just so freaking scared for so many reasons. I loved how she comes to terms with what she want, what she can have. She knows that she is helping Thor even though it won't really be something he returns back. I guess she wanted to repay him for how he and Darius took care of her back then and she "accidentally" fell in love with him now. I felt it was closing a circle. I didn't think it was about her hurting herself, or making herself be with someone that doesn't want her, it was about her trying to make Thor better and having for the first time a close connection with someone that just overwhelmed her because she never thought it was possible. 

 

Not to spoiler more than I did, I'll just say that I really wished that the book ended earlier than it did. Right about Chapter 72 would have been the right thing in my opinion. I know that most people won't agree with me, but well, that's me, that's how I feel.

 

I know I wrote too damn much so there isn't a lot more room for all the other POVs so I'll just have a few words about each -

 

Lassiter - what a sweetheart!!!! I loved his character even if at first I really didn't get him, maybe that's part of it. That he grows on you as he grows more "human" or you understand what he is doing, why, and how much he is willing to do without asking for anything in return. 

 

Assail - There's a new player in town! I love him! He's a really interesting character and I can't wait to get more of him! 

 

BOB - Xcor is "getting better", less like the Bloodletter and more an independent person I guess. Though I still don't consider him a smart person (mostly a brute..) at least I don't detest him as I did in the previous book or up until he sort of redeemed himself in this book. Zypher is also someone I think was a little misjudged before. We got only his bad side like with Z in the first 2 books then we got to see a real person. I think I'm going to like him! Throe isn't my cup of tea, I don't get him but I do think that without HIM there was no Band of Bastards.. Xcor might be the leader but he and the other guys wouldn't have been able to live more than a month without all the managing he does for them..

 

JM / Xhex - Like in the previous book where we had "troubles in paradise" for V and Jane, this one has John and Xhex first significant fight. I thought it was "well played". It really made sense, I don't know why I didn't think about it before I read it but it was just what you'd think they'll fight about and I loved how it was solved and the fact that even when they were at odds it was hard for the both of them to be apart but without resolving it they just couldn't be together. 

I should say that there are a few mother/daughter and father/son scenes, You probably guess I'm not into the father/son (Thor/JM) because of Thor but I LOVED the mother/daughter scenes of Xhex and No'One. I loved how they were built as well, it took them time but when they were both ready for it - it was just beautiful! also heart breaking.. 

 

Quinn - Oh boy, how much he goes through in this book! I think we really get how sensitive and alone he really is. I love this guy so much! and can't wait for the next one of him and Blay. I do think that what happened in this book between the both of them, with Layla and their friendship, how much he changed - all of it - needed to happen before they got together, before Quinn is really ready to be with Blay with all that it entails. 

 

Two of my Reading Updates of this one - One / Two

 

As I've wrote in the last three reviews, the narrator of this audio book version grew on me, I kinda like him now :) that I still wish he would have done the women and men in a different voice.. 

 

There are a few things that happen in this book (mainly concerning the BOB and Assail) that you need to read/know for the next ones and there is what happened with Quinn and Layla that makes sense as a prelude to the next book, but besides that, this book is totally pointless and unnecessary.

I could have enjoyed reading everything that happened to Quinn in the next book and didn't have to get JM and Xhex's fight (though it REALLY helped me deal with the rest of this book!) but to sum it up - I don't recommend this book, not at all. Though it is a Paranormal book, it has nothing to do with Romance. Thor is the worst hero EVER, I don't think I ever read a romance book in which I hated the hero so much I wanted him to wallow in his sorrow FOREVER (dying is too good for him, really). 

 

Only one more before The King!

 

Other books in the series -

#01 Dark Lover - Wrath & Beth

#02 Lover Eternal - Rhage & Mary 

#03 Lover Awakened - Zsadist & Bella

#04 Lover Revealed - Butch & Marissa

#05 Lover Unbound - Vishous & Jane

#06 Lover Enshrined - Phury & Cormia

#06.5 Father Mine - Zsadist & Bella & Nalla

#07 Lover Avenged - Rehvenge & Ehlena

#08 Lover Mine - John Matthew & Xhexania (Xhex)

#09 Lover Unleashed - Payne & Dr. Manuel Manello (Manny)

***     #10 Lover Reborn - Thorment & No'One/Autumn      ***

#11 Lover at Last - Quinn & Blaylock

#12 The King - Wrath & Beth